[Emanuel Burke]

There is a consistent theme of the true and false self battling it out throughout the Psalms. And thank God that is the case! It’s true to our experience as broken humans in need of grace and mercy and divine love. Doing this battle is the only way to kill the false self- and we can only be successful with God as the One drawing the true self out from within us.

I have a bad habit of setting up shields and barriers- preventing intimacy with others. It’s an emotional defense mechanism I’ve developed to my detriment. I’ve been hurt by several pastors and church members in the past, including my own family. I began to feel that opening myself up to others only resulted in pain. And as I have come to find, doing so has had the consequence of hindering me from developing greater intimacy with God. Thanks for sharing this with us.

[Emanuel Burke]

Hi, Becca

I’m presently an aspirant in the order. My wife and I are also presently raising support to move to Thailand as missionaries. Because of the nature of our ministry on this end of things, we tend to live much of our life in the future.
I especially get carried away in this mode of trying to live my life in the future, rather than living life in the present.

I’ve been challenged greatly by “Seeking God the Way of St. Benedict,” especially the chapter on “listening.” Taking time to slow down to see how God is trying to speak to me in each moment of life is hard for me. Because I fail to listen, I’m sure I am missing out on ways I could serve God through generosity, a kind word that is not forced or otherwise provoked except by love for God and others, and so on.

So I have found that I need to learn discipline to listen for God, being ready to hear the Holy Spirit, so that when He calls I will be ready to obey.

-Emanuel

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