Lesson_2_M_Hoggard

[Margaret Hoggard]

Two emotions that I have particularly struggled with after my father died are guilt and fear. He was suffering from non-Hodgkins lymphoma, but died of a complication just as the disease was metastasizing, so his death was sudden even though his disease was terminal. When he died, his affairs were not in order, and I feel guilt that I wasn’t able to support him more even though I know there was little I could have done. In dealing with the aftermath of his death, it has been very hard to support my mother. I have felt fear for her well-being, and since she lives 10 hours away from me and in another country, I experience guilt that I am not doing more to support her. It is frustrating that the distance and other responsibilities make travel difficult, complicated even more my husband’s and my own health problems. Though we helped her settle into an apartment near my brother that she loves and can handle on her own, I also feel guilty that he and his wife are being left with an unfair load. I do support her and my brother and sister-in-law in both practical and emotional ways as much as I can. Mom is also blessed to have many benefits, such as housekeeping, therapy, and personal care, provided for free through veteran’s benefits my father received for serving in the Canadian Armed Forces. My husband and I also help finance day-away programs and extras for Mom and vacations for my brother and his wife. Even though my mother and brother and sister-in-law frequently tell me that they are grateful for what we do, I feel sad that we are so far apart and guilty that I can’t do more.

• This topic was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by Margaret Hoggard.

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