JBassett Lsn 2, Know Yourself that You May Know God

[jeffrbassett]

What are you angry about?
As a child, I realized at some point that I was a relatively angry person. I would spend my Saturday mornings, as I was vacuuming for my weekly chores, going over things I should have said the week before. With the noise of the vacuum, I could speak without anyone else hearing. The funny thing about this was that I didn’t conceive of myself as angry, but as winsome and joyful. It’s a disconnect I have continued to reflect on for over 20 years.

Upon reflection, I realize that I am angry about the places in life where there is a disconnect from my own deeply held values. I am not personally an evangelical, but I work among evangelicals. I have found that often, I struggle mightily to hold back the anger that rises in me–not at the people I work with. But at the institution’s inability and seeming lack of desire to pursue what I understand to be true.

I find a similar kind of anger and panic that is rooted in helplessness around my relationship with my wife. Much of this is from us just being different people. But that difference, which is quite vast in some areas which are important to me, challenges me. It is hard for me to lean in lovingly without giving up or becoming angry about the gap between us.

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