Crafting Relationships

[Emanuel Burke]

There are a couple of things that stand out to me in Psalm 51:

1. David pleads for God to grant mercy “according to [his] lovingkindness… the multitude of [his] tender mercies.” I believe there are times when I don’t approach God in this way after sinning. I perceive that I sometimes go to God praying something closer to this, “God, please don’t kill me. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. Please don’t stop loving me.” Etc.
This is critical because it seems that I tend to not believe God is rich in mercy, and full of lovingkindness. Rather, I tend to believe God is just waiting for an opportunity to strike me down.
I find this upsetting. And while I also believe I am much closer to where David was in terms of having confidence in God’s mercy, I still find belief deeply challenging, and often find myself praying, “Lord, help my unbelief.”

2. “…I [have] sinned, and done this evil in thy sight; That thou might be justified when thou speak, and clear when thou judge.” David acknowledges that the consequences of his sin is fully deserved, and there is no overreaction on God’s part. There is no controversy- David’s sin was unquestionably evil & deserving of God’s judgment. And the “crazy” thing is that David accepts it. He fully comprehends that his sin is far beyond a manipulation of circumstances to satisfy his desires- it climbs to the height of cosmic treason (“against thee, thee only, have I sinned…”).
Right now one of my prayers is for God to grant me tears in my repentance. It’s easy to just brush off sin like it’s not a big deal. Or to carry on “in God’s mercy” apathetically. Whoever is reading this, please ask the Lord to grant me deeper tears and sorrows over my manifold sins against him.

3. In verses 5 & 6, David tells God that He has been successful in teaching him wisdom, and creating truth within his inward self (the true self). God’s judgment rendered unto David is ultimately an act of love, that changes those parts inside David that wanted to deny the evil of his actions, and to live as though it never happened. God loves David so much that He refused to allow him to live that way. So God birthed in David that very inner turmoil I so often experience, and that Paul so eloquently described, “I do what I don’t want to do, and I don’t do what I want to do- Who can save me from this body of death?”
This is one of the most relatable parts of the Psalm for me.

4. If you haven’t fallen asleep by now- Thank you. I’ll end with this:
David’s way of reconciling with God inspires me to seek the same kind of reconciliation with God so that I can seek healing within relationships that are not doing so great. By the time David is wrapping up the Psalm, it seems that his spirit has already began experiencing the joy of the Lord. He knows the faith of God, and that his mercy is undoubtedly true, and his love eternal. And David looks forward to being restored in his relationship, not only with God, but with the greater community of Israel.

As an American, it’s easy to forget that being Christian also means being catholic. My sin, in one way or another, creates tension and poor health in the whole body. But that also means that the body that is affected is responsible for taking the broken limb to the Physician. I don’t cut my arm off when I get a scratch. I bandage it. I put ointment on it. Perhaps I get an infection- so then I take medication. The Church has the right bandages and ointments and medications for my soul- not because she’s a great physician, but because she was brought to life by The Physician, and given the tools to do this work of reconciliation.

Overall I would say I am incredibly encouraged, and want to seek reconciliation with my parents and siblings. My greatest wrong against them is maintaining distance via disregard. I get wrapped up in things, and before too long, I haven’t heard from them (or intentionally spoke to them) in weeks…sometimes months. And I hate this about myself.
There’s a myriad of problems in my family dynamics. My parents aren’t exactly thrilled about me being Anglican- and they got really awkward when I explained my postulency in the ACB.
Anyway, I’ve gone on long enough- thank you for bearing with me.

[Danny]

Emanuel, thank you for sharing your wonderful insights into this lesson. It appears to have been impactful for you. I particularly enjoyed your comments about sin impacting the whole person; body, mind, & spirit. A few years ago, an APA Study discovered that more than 90% of all illnesses are “stress related.” That is as close as they could come to saying sin related. My tenure as a hospital chaplain bore that to be true. Many, many of the patients with chronic illnesses truly suffered from unforgiven sin (most had never forgiven themselves. Thanks again for sharing.

[Becca Sheffler]

Emanuel, your comments encourage me greatly. Christ, the Great Physician, always points us in the direction of healing for both ourselves and others. Our Benedictine Rule speaks clearly regarding discipline, that it is always to heal, not to punish.

If I am honest, I must admit that there are several relationships in my life where I have not actively sought healing. I have attempted to release animosity and to forgive, but I’ve stopped short of seeking healing. I’m convicted by your comments. Thank you, brother! Blessings!

[Tom Benson]

David’s situation reminded me that its the cover up that makes things worse… of course not to have sinned in the firs place would have been better, but even then the lust in David’s eyes committed adultery at that moment. So how do we remain in God’s presence in the moment so that we can seek His forgiveness before making things worse… Reconciliation takes courage to seek forgiveness as well as ask for forgiveness… As David has learned there is no sin so great that God in His mercy will not forgive but will embrace us as the Father of the Prodigal Son did in Jesus parable… PAX

[Margaret Hoggard]

I’m very moved by your post, Emanuel, and I think your application of David’s story to present day shows courage and insight. Your description of the elements of judgment, forgiveness, and healing and the role they play in bringing about reconciliation is particularly striking. I agree that your words can lead us to be optimistic that our sins and those of others against can lead to better and stronger relationships through the process you describe. Thank you for describing some of the barriers you face in your family. Perhaps difficulties in some relationships cannot be fully resolved but still have value in leading us to stronger and healthier relationships in other circumstances.

God bless you,
Maggie

[carol newbern]

Good Morning Emanuel and others, Your insight into the Psalm is a blessing and an invitation to ponder more deeply what I read. The overwhelming conviction that you came to see God’s goodness even in the uncomfortable times and revelation of your own shortcomings. It is exciting and hopeful to me to see in others’ lives, God’s constant care and desire for us to be positioned to be fully who He intends us to be and more and more deeply in relationship with Him and others. Thank you all:)

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